Well it's Monday all right

Today my son had a doctor's appointment.  It was a follow-up appointment from an earlier one this year, but I could not remember if it was the follow-up to the visit whose theme was "Maybe it's time we stopped being so reactive about his mild, intermittent asthma and get a treatment plan" versus the follow-up to "Let's make sure he's just a normal twitchy kid and not neurologically problematic."  I really don't take him to the doctor much, but this year was unique in that we've addressed a couple of meta-health things, and for the life of me I wasn't sure what this appointment was for.  FAIL at motherhood. 

Then, on our way to school, I see a squirrel darting out into the street, well ahead of us.  He pauses in the middle of the road, and I groan inwardly.  Is he going to stay there?  Dash back and possibly be squished by the oncoming car?  Dash onward and possibly be squished by me?  I slow a little, but wouldn't you know it, that furry little moron zigged right under my wheels.  I didn't feel a thud or thump but I knew.  I just knew.

I wish the squirrel were the only moron in this scenario, but sadly there was another one:  Me.   I looked in my rear-view mirror and cried out in dismay when I saw his flattened body.  I don't think the kid would have noticed if it weren't for my self-castigation.  Worse yet, I narrated thoughts like "Oh my god is his tail twitching?  That's not the wind, I think his tail is still twitching.  It's bad enough I hit him, but if I didn't kill him and he's suffering that's AWFUL...."  Mind you, I am saying this OUT LOUD.  Then I look back at my poor tender-hearted son and he is curling up around the seatbelt and starting to cry.  He cried all the way to school.  FAIL AGAIN.

I'm one of those people who LIKES squirrels.  I felt bad all morning.  And what a start to my son's day.

For the record, on my way to the office I drove by the scene of the vehicular rodentslaughter and the squirrel was clearly (and thoroughly) dead.  Either by me or a car which followed in my wake.  So if he suffered, it doesn't look like it could have been for long.  Sigh.